So you think tantrums are horrible, terrible, no good, despicable, uncomfortable, irritating, maddening… behavior tools of torture? Here are 10 undeniable reasons to love them.
1. You are the very center of attention.
Oh, yes, you! Not your child!
There are two options:
a) if you are in public, people will pay attention for five seconds to your screaming, squirming, floor-wiping toddler and then all the attention will shift to… you!
Some will wonder how you will react!
Others will downright judge you for not handling your child better – or allowing him or her to get to that point to begin with!
Yet others will side squarely with your fire-spitting lil’ dragon, like the cute old lady at the grocery store who said to me, when my son was screaming bloody murder in the shopping cart, “Oh, little darling! What’s WRONG?!”
By the way, I was vindicated from this one when one of my neighbors, upon hearing this story, told the little old lady “Oh, why don’t you mind your own onions?”
That’s a French expression that I find absolutely hilarious – and that makes perfect sense in a grocery store. (By the way, for those who have just met me, I live in Belgium – the French part.)
Granted, the come-back came too late and not in her presence, but to my wounded motherly self, it was sweet music for the ears!
But back to the second option of being the center of attention:
b) you are at home
Your child is exhibiting the same unfathomable behavior as in the above scenario, but you are in the comfort of your home.
The neighbors might be listening in, but let’s chuck that up to scenario a) which we have already discussed.
Let’s just say that you think your kid is completely wrapped up in a ball of anger and can’t see you anymore.
Boy, you would be wrong!
Because temper tantrums are all for YOU!
They serve a clear purpose – to get you to do (or not do) something.
So… YOU are, again, the center of attention!
Why don’t you grab a bowl of ice-cream, turn on the TV (yes, in the middle of the day), put your feet on the coffee table and show the screaming firecracker how it’s done?
And this leads us to the second reason why you could love tantrums:
2. Tantrums are breaks for mama! (or papa…)
I for one have discovered this one thing in all of the years of dealing with kids: ignoring them is worse (in their perception) than anything else (well, we’re talking “normal” here), including getting angry!
If you have no reaction – or you focus on yourself, you take the steam out of the boiling teapot!
You can grab a book, watch TV, check your emails, make yourself a sandwich… the possibilities are endless!
3. Your screaming kiddo is showing you that he or she is not afraid of you!
You have to love this one…
I mean, think to the nastiest boss you’ve ever had… did you ever show anger in his or her presence?
Lose your cool? Your marbles? Your composure?
Yeah, exactly!
Isn’t it great to be loved and not feared?! 🙂
Bonus: your offspring is showing you that he or she is not a people-pleaser! High five!
4. Your child is shaking up a life of boring happiness.
Yes, you heard me!
Every time you need to shake things up in your life with a little bit of drama (you know who you are!), remember your screaming toddler!
Need more drama?
5. You have tangible proof that you are raising a warrior.
There it is, clear proof that your child is a fighter!
You might praise him or her and offer congratulations!
Seriously though… if you do that, you will deliver a major blow to the tantrum throwing lil’ thug.
They know exactly what they are doing… and they know this is not the kid of behavior that gets rewarded or praised.
If you keep your cool, wait for them to calm down and then… congratulate them on the beautiful screaming and what not, you will be met with shock… and then, probably, laughter! It really happened to me! True story!
Laughter, by the way, diffuses tension like nothing else. It works for any human over the age of… well… three months?
6. You have just proven your mother (or father)-in-law wrong.
How’s that, you ask?
Well, it’s because, when she is giving you all that advice about how to raise children, you always assume that it’s because she doesn’t trust your parenting skills.
But when you clearly keep your cool and allow the melt-down to fade out into the sunset without moving a facial muscle, you display a level of control that your mother-in-law will not know what to do with!
How’s that for skills? Ha!
7. You could get rid of presents you never liked anyway…
So what if your hollering pirate were to accidentally break that porcelain doll you got from aunt Fran two years ago?
Just sayin’…
(And I am NOT encouraging teaching them to throw things! I’m simply saying that, in their rage and anger, they could stumble upon objects purposely placed in their path…)
8. You can finally listen to music again!
I don’t know about other parents, but when I became a mother I stopped listening to music.
Well, okay, that’s not entirely true: I still listened, but mostly on the radio, my in-laws CD player and the overpowering free rock festivals that happened to come to town.
I had barely any time to take a shower, let alone discover new artists… or turn up the volume on my favorite CD and dance like no one’s watching.
So when you have a perfect storm on your hands, why not dig up your CD collection and go back to your roots?
Imagine the reaction… hm… mama’s dancing?! WT… toddler-heck?!
9. You get to see your child’s true colors… all of them.
You want to keep it real with your offspring, right?
You don’t want a fake relationship where everyone is pretending to politely NOT want to bash the others’ head against the table…
Exactly.
Better have it out in the open.
10. Your child’s tantrums show you how far YOU have come.
Yeah, YOU!
What, you don’t remember what it was like?
How powerless you felt and how you tried to manipulate the adults around you with kicks and screams?
Ph-lease!
Isn’t being an adult a whole lot of fun?
ENJOY!
Maria
Maria Ellis: Books for Children 